Definition of Deja Vu?!

So what is the definition of deja vu, exactly?! I believe it's something to the effect of "the feeling of doing something you've done before..." That about covers it, or comes close anyway!

So, how does this pertain to my blog, you ask? Well, today we had to go to court. Yes, the same thing we did two weeks ago. Why? Because Daisy was again supposedly "sick" and couldn't travel home at the court appointed time on Sunday after a weekend with her mother. I called our attorney first thing this morning and he got a hearing ASAP. Last time we had 24 hours notice, this time we had about 2 hrs. So, that meant that I had to go to court today, that's right. Me, not Dandelion. I was a nervous wreck. I've never been to court for so much as a speeding ticket!! You see, my schedule is much more flexible during the day than Dandelion's is. Our attorney said since it was such short notice either one of us would do, basically we just had to have someone there. So, I won (or maybe lost) and drew the shortest straw!!

Anyway, got another court order to release Daisy to us along with reimbursement for my day's wages and mileage for our travel to get her. This. Is. So. Ridiculous. Our lawyer even said, "she just WILL NOT abide by a court order". The judge said we are getting very close to having to suspend her visitation altogether until this gets handled permanently. Now, of course I don't want Daisy not to see her mother at all, but I refuse to feel bad. All we're asking her to do is follow the rules. She could change this if she chose to do so, but she refuses.

So, my guess is we'll be in exactly the same position in another two weeks' time...wouldn't you agree?! She is a lunatic, I'm more and more convinced each and every day.

Sigh............

My apologies....

I know, I know, I know....where have I been?!?!? Well, life has been a zoo AND they restricted our internet access at work. So you combine those two things and my blogging opportunities have been few and far between!

Taking two master's classes instead of my usual one one top of "mom" duties and a full-time job is really taking it out of me! Luckily, I'll be done in December!!! Have i mentioned that before ; ) Additionally, we have adopted a second dog from a shelter. I should seriously be blocked from looking at petfinder, I swear. They look so sad and that's how I found my little Lilac and, well....now we have a boy dog we'll call Chrysanthemum (no idea on the spelling, I'm usually a spelling nazi, but don't feel like looking it up!)

There hadn't been much drama in the Thistle department....that is until this weekend. Of course, there is only drama now every other weekend, but we can pretty much count on it everytime she has Daisy....sigh!

Where do I begin....she got Daisy on Friday night per the court order. By Sat morning she was calling Dandelion to tell him her (Thistle's) grandpa died and she would need to keep Daisy to travel to neighboring state (3 hours away) for the entire week and she'd need to miss school. We tried to be sympathetic while at the same time being skeptical...read back, at the beginning of the school year she'd ripped Daisy out of school for the same g-pa's impending death to take her to the neighboring state, had her miss 2.5 days of school, and then didn't take her anywhere and didn't visit any ailing grandfather, so that's where our skepticism comes in. We said of course Daisy could go to visitation and funeral, but with it only being a three hour trip, an entire week out of school seemed excessive, especially considering Daisy struggled in school last time she missed several days caused by Thistle. So, of course Thistle freaks out, blah, blah, blah and then we hear nothing more about it.

So, Sunday we hear from her. "Daisy is sick, it's probably swine flu." Yes, there is lots of stuff going around and from what I've read most children in schools will get swine flu this year, but Thistle is funny in that everything out there either she and/or Daisy WILL get. When I first heard the phrase swine flu I said to myself, Thistle or Daisy will "get" it. I'm pretty sure this woman is a hypochondriac, along with all her other endearing qualities. Or at least uses "ailments" and "illnesses" to try to garner sympathy/get her way. Dandelion talked to Daisy on the phone, she sounded ok, he told her to feel better. Thistle says she would not be coming back that evening (per the court order) since she was sick. Dandelion reminded her that, sick or not, there was a court order in place and Daisy's pediatrician, asthma doc, etc, were all here (she lives 2.5 hrs away from us.) She said it didn't matter, Daisy was staying with her. Overnight he got an e-mail and text saying she'd taken her to the emergency room. Again, I'm not saying I'm not worried, I just know how Thistle operates. She's taken Daisy to the ER for a spot (seriously, a spot) of poison ivy before. According to her, the ER doc says Daisy will need to be out of school for 5-10 days...what?!?!?!?!?

Let me reiterate, I know this flu is bad, but due to many, many, many, many past shenanigans by Thistle....we pretty much don't believe a word she says or we assume that most things she claims are about 95% exaggeration....she loves nothing more than to tell a good story!! So, she now claims that she is keeping Daisy for the next 5-10 days and we should get her homework from the school and overnight it to her (when we asked what she expected her to do about missed work). So, let me get this straight. The child is too sick to ride in a car to come back home, but she's well enough to move (they moved over the weekend, again) and do her homework....interesting.

So, needless to say Monday morning meant another call to the lawyer. Today we had an emergency hearing and Dandelion is in Thistle's town as I type this armed with a court order demanding Thistle release Daisy immediately and pay all lawyer and court fees for making us take it to court. Our lawyer told the judge that, sick or not, everytime she has Daisy she finds a reason not to bring her back or not to abide by the order. The judge was none too pleased!

I just got a call from Dandelion that Thistle is not answering her phone or door of their apartment. The court order said the local authorities are to get involved if she doesn't comply. This could be quite interesting and quite pathetic that it has to come down to this.

If Daisy is sick we want her here. With all of Thistle's bad parenting and refusal to give Daisy her asthma medication we want her here where she takes her prescribed medication and is close to her pediatrician. And if she isn't sick then Thistle is just a much bigger pain in the you-know-what than I ever imagined. It just seems funny to me that she was trying to get her all this week and using two different excuses (funeral and sickness) to do so. That usually means she's got something up her sleeve.........

A day in the life of Family in Bloom, I swear!!

Sorry, dearies, for being absent so long...I'll try not to let it happen again!!!

Just plain weird.

So, Daisy was dropped off last night a little before 8 pm. When she took her coat off we noticed she was absolutely covered in something. She was covered, head to toe in three things, fake tattoos, ink pen writing, and marker drawings. Now, I'm not a total prude. A couple fake tattoos you get out of a quarter machine for a kid is fine. I don't like the things, but I know kids think they're awesome so no big thing. However, when I say she was covered I am not kidding. She had them on her neck (3), chest (3) back of neck (2), stomach (2), legs(4). And those are just the temporary tattoos. The marker drawings and ink pen writing are on top of all that. It was ridiculous. She told us that her and mommy did it. The creepy part was the ink pen writing. Written randomly around her body in her mom's handwriting was "i love my mommy". Dandelion and I were so weirded out we didn't even know how to react. The child even had stuff in the area that would be covered by a bra (if you get my drift) if she wore one. So what did she sit naked while they drew on her?! We had to spend an hour with cotton balls and a bottle of baby oil trying to clean her off followed by her trying to scrub the remainder in the shower. I mean, how much more bizarre can things really get? Writing I love my mommy on your child over and over?! That's just plain weird!! Not to mention when we were cleaning her off we found she was covered in something else....what appear to be flea bites. She didn't leave our house with them and mommy dearest has two cats. Now as good of care as she takes of everything else in her life I'm sure you can guess the cats get no flea treatments. I hate sending Daisy there, it gets weirder by the week. And I HATE transition days even more. We have to bring her back into the real world, you know the one that has rules, parents, school, etc. Not the world where mommy writes all over you with an ink pen and marker.

I'll say it again....weird, weird weird. What do we even do in this situation? We had to clean her off because she couldn't go to school like that, all the marker, tattoos, pen were very fresh so it was like mommy did it all just so we'd have to be the ones to "deal" with it and she'd look like the fun awesome person and we'd be the awful parents that made Daisy take it all off. Geez. I mean do you have to be drugged out in order to write all over your child or are you just plain bizarre or mentally ill. Any of those choices is a distinct possibility...WOW!

Not that suprising!

Well, I had casually mentioned that my father-in-law's b-day celebration was coming up. We hosted it at our home and it was a big b-day...he turned 70. He is in great health, but I am of the mind when you reach that stage of life every birthday you have is a blessing to you and your family members. Not that birthdays aren't special in earlier years, but you get what I mean. We had a big family to-do with lots of friends and extended family; it was wonderful!

As you know Thistle has a problem abiding by a court order and refuses to bring Daisy back "on time" just so she can have a little control. Because, let's face it, drop off/pick up time every other weekend is really the only thing she can hold over us anymore since she's lost custody. Well....last time it was Thistle's weekend Daisy was supposed to be (legally per the court order) dropped off at 6 pm. She showed up at our home at 11 pm...and had school the next day. Nice! So, father in law's b-day party was this past Sunday (yesterday). We scheduled it at a time when Daisy should have been there. Yes, it would have been better to do it on a weekend that was completely "ours", but it didn't work with everyone else's schedules. So the way we planned the party was to start at our home about an hour before Daisy was to return. We realized she would miss an hour of the party, but no big deal. It was Thistle's time with her and we never ask to infringe on her time. We just figured she would get dropped off once the party was underway, but we figured no big deal. Dinner wasn't starting until after Daisy got back anyway, she'd only miss the social hour before dinner.

Per our lawyer's advice we sent Thistle a letter (that could be used in court) after the last 11pm drop off explaining why it was bad for Daisy to be out that late on a school night and that on the next of Thistle's weekends if she kept Daisy that late then Daisy would miss her grandpa's 70th b-day party. We explained that we weren't asking for an early drop-off or to take any of Thistle's time...only that Thistle respect the court-ordered times and drop her off when she was supposed to so that Daisy could enjoy the milestone b-day with her grandpa and extended family. Again, it was OUR time then, not hers...we were asking for NO favors..only that the rules be followed, for once! The thought was, she never brings her back on time anyway, and we have a continued court date coming up. So if we inform her of the party and inform her that if she pulled anything with when drop-off occurred that she alone would be causing Daisy to miss the party. That way, we know she's gonna do it anyway, so at least make it plainly obvious, via letter, that she did it knowingly so it looks even worse for her in court. We have a continued court date coming up in a few weeks and she always tries to claim that she does "everything I can to get along with Dandelion and only want what's best for Daisy, but he just won't work with me. I'm the victim, I'm so innocent, blah, blah, blah." Well it's kind of hard to make yourself look like an agreeable innocent victim in front of a judge when you purposely and knowingly keep your child from her grandpa's 70th birthday party in violation of a court order.

So, I'm sure you can guess what went down. Yesterday wore on and party/drop off time got closer and we heard nothing from Daisy or Thistle. Well, soon Dandelion's parents arrived for the party and asked if we'd heard from Daisy or Thistle. Mind you, Daisy had been ALL excited about this party. She knew it was at our house and she is SUPER close to her grandpa. They are the best of buddies and she goes there everyday after school. So, Dandelion said no, we haven't heard from Thistle or Daisy. Well, begrudingly Dandelion's parents said that they had.......

That's right folks, she didn't call us, she called Dandelion's parents to tell them Daisy wouldn't be making it to her grandpa's big birthday party. The excuse, you ask? "I see you all the time grandpa, but I only get to see mommy and man of the moment every other week so I'm going to stay here another night" (there was no school Monday...but still, keeping her past Sunday at six was ALL in violation of the court order). Are you kidding? You don't even have the decency to call us, Daisy's father, and tell us she's not coming back, you make the child call her grandpa herself and tell him she's missing the party?! Well, once the party was over Dandelion checked his e-mail and she had e-mailed in the middle of the party, knowing Dandelion would not be sitting at the computer checking e-mail when hosting 50 people at our home, telling him that Daisy "didn't want to come" to the birthday party. What a pathetic excuse for a human.

This is a true story, not some random, made up, worst case scenario saga....I was SUPER close to my grandpa growing up. One Sunday he and my grandma came over for dinner (I was a teenager). We had a great family dinner and all hung out and watched a movie afterwards....they stayed until about nine, I gave them a kiss and hug and said I loved them and they headed home. It was like 1,000 other nights I spent as a kid. The difference was....that was the last time I saw my grandpa. God, I'm tearing up just typing this....he died of a massive heart attack that night after he got home. I will cherish that one Sunday evening and remember every detail for the rest of my life. I am not wishing Dandelion's dad away in the least, I love the man dearly, but those things happen. Everyday Daisy (and we) gets with him is a blessing. What would Daisy feel like if something like this happens....and she missed it. Would Thistle even care? Or is she just so worried about "getting" Dandelion that it doesn't matter?!

It is this kind of stuff that makes me realize she's sick. I'm not being bitchy. I'm serious. There is something wrong with her because a normal person would not be able to behave in this manner. I guess I shouldn't be mad and should hope she gets the help she needs, because she didn't hurt Dandelion last night when Daisy didn't get to celebrate with her family...she hurt her daughter. And there is Someone far more powerful than myself that will judge her for this and all her other actions.

The punishment fits the crime

Well, we've had to dole out the first punishment to Daisy in a loooooong time. I mean possibly the first one since last school year so, all in all, I think we're in good shape. Of course she's has little lectures and corrections and stuff, but nothing major...no privileges taken away.

I've mentioned a little rough patch with school, but her grades have vastly improved after a serious dip in conjunction with multiple days in a row of unexcused absences caused by Thistle. However, Daisy's attitude about school has not improved that much. She can get by, usually, without much effort. However, this will not continue as things get harder in her classes so we're trying to build good habits now (after 3 years of seriously crappy habits because of her back and forth schedule and differing rules/guidelines or a lack thereof in each of her homes the past few years). Well, for the past three weeks she has had either a math or reading test or both during the week. Each time we have asked her to bring her book home the night before the test and each time she "forgets". We started with just lecturing and telling her she "had" to bring it home...still nothing. "Whoops, I totally totally forgot....haha". Yes, my friends, that was a direct quote from our little valley girl this evening. She seriously laughed, she doesn't at all get how serious we are about this! So, Dandelion asked "what are we going to have to do to make you understand that bringing your books home and studying for tests is not a choice it is something you MUST do." To which she shrugged and was basically just waiting to tolerate the lecture so she could move on with her night. So Dandelion answered his own question and told her that she would be staying home tomorrow night. Wednesday nights are a church program that Daisy goes to and has been LOVING. They do crafts, play games, and her friends from school go so she thinks it's great. Well THIS seemed to get her attention. Her eyes welled up and pouting ensued. Yes, we felt slightly mean, but we had to get her attention somehow!! Not bringing home books the night before a test is not acceptable!! We've tried lectures, we've tried rewards, so we thought we'd try taking away a privilege....let's see how it goes. If this doesn't work if someone could please provide me with a spoon so I could gouge my eyes out that would be great because we will be at a loss if this doesn't do the trick. The real test will be if she brings a book home Thursday night because she has a test on Friday............dun, dun, dun. Oh, the suspense!!!!

I recently asked my mom exactly what age did I obtain some common sense because, as much as we love the kid, we are eagerly awaiting that day with Daisy. She's seems fine going through life happily oblivious to the fact that there is actually a World around her. Now, I can say this because in my question I'm acknowledging that I too didn't have common sense in my younger years. My mom disappointed me with the answer of......22. GREAT!!! Just what this stepmama wanted to hear ; )

Start to another week!

Well, I didn't get much lounging in this weekend, but I did get to watch the movie The Secret Life of Bees. I had read the book a few years ago so I was anxious to see the movie. The movies never live up to the book, but I had read the book so long ago that I'd forgotten most of the details so I was able to enjoy the movie! It was a good quality chick flick that Dandelion nicely suffered through for me on Sunday evening.

Our family pictures went off without a hitch this weekend and it was nice to have everyone all together. With everybody's kids and busy schedules it doesn't happen as often as we'd like so it's always nice when it does. The slumber party on Friday night also went well. Two girls stayed that have never stayed over before and they were very nice, and very mature, and they kept busy and were not running around like crazy all night long...it was nice! And the girls had a good time hanging out together...double bonus!!

Not much on the Daisy's mom front really. She asked to call her mom the other night so, of course, we let her. We never don't let her call when she asks...unless we're right in the middle of something (which in that instance she can call as soon as we're finished doing whatever) or it's a stall tactic for bedtime : ) A little background....Thistle moved to New City with her BF in early July. He had a son he has every other weekend and a one bedroom apt. When Thistle moved in (didn't really move in, just went for a visit and never left...that's how she works) Daisy began sleeping on the floor of the living room. So, four people in a one bedroom apt. Daisy has no toys there or anything other than some clothes. Luckily, Daisy is no longer there much, but yeah, she's been sleeping on a floor when she is there since early July in the same room with an 11 year old boy...nice!

So, since we moved into our new home Thistle has been promising Daisy various new, luxurious homes. The first one was in a "gated community" in New City. It was supposedly rather posh...she gave us a new address and a "living here as of" date as well. Coincidentally, we had sent her an e-mail saying our new address will be such n such as of August 1st, so she sent back well my new address will be xxx Gated Community on that same date (riiiiiiiiight......everything's a competition) to which she ended the sentence with...it's a subdivision. Okaaaaay, cause that is important in regards to your address?! Needless to say that move never happened and in the 1 bedroom apartment they remained. The reason was somebody hurried up and paid the deposit while Thistle was driving over there to pay it and the house was gone (all stories must be as dramatic as possible for full effect). Then there was a brick house in a different subdivision (supposedly) with a fireplace (ours has one) that never came through either. The latest was a house in the country with a basement (our house is in the country and has a huge unfinished basement which Daisy LOOOVES because she pretty much has free reign down there). Well this house actually seemed as if it was going to happen. They had a move-in date again and Daisy had seen the house and picked our her bedroom and picked out new paint, etc. Mommy Dearest had been building this house up for three weeks or more....and Daisy was very excited. Well, when she called her mom Saturday she got the bad news. The landlord wasn't going to allow nature walks or treasure hunts so they couldn't move into the new house. GIVE. ME. A. BREAK. Either they checked references and figured out you and your bf suck at life or you couldn't come up with a deposit or something, but to blame on them not allowing treasure hunts?! Are you kidding me. But of course, now the landlord can be the enemy and mommy can be the victim, yet again. Daisy was noticably upset, but we reassured her that she had a home here and that we were sure her mommy would find a nice place for them all to live (ok, so we said the last part and didn't believe a word we were saying, but we had to make the kid feel better, right?!). Sigh.........poor kid!!

Workin' For the Weekend......

Come on...you know the tune. Don't lie, you know you read the title and started singing the song. Okay, maybe not everyone is as big of a dork as me, but I like to think there are a few of us out there : )

Things are good here. Quiet and good. Quiet typically scares me, but I must say that since we've gotten custody of Daisy....I've been much less stressed about the whole situation overall. As much as Thistle still annoys me when she pulls crap (like dropping her off so late this past weekend), I still am able to realize that we now really only have to even remotely "deal" with her twice every two weeks....when I think back to how far we've come, it's truly amazing. As bad as things may get at times the way she used to jerk us around was SOOOOO much worse!

We've got a busy weekend! There is a local Oktoberfest celebration going on, in which we will be partaking. Daisy is having a slumber party Friday night (wish me luck). Two girls are staying the night and then we're taking them all to their dance clinic (yes, we signed her up!!!) on Saturday morning. Then I have my orientation for my LAST master's class. I know you all are probably like, shut up already lady about these classes, but seriously...I am so happy to be seeing the finish line that I could just do a little dance or something, I swear!

We're getting family pictures (Dandelion's side) taken this weekend as well. It's always nice to have an updated big group family picture so we're getting some pretty outdoor Fall ones taken as a big group...I'm excited! I also hope to get in some good lounging on Sunday : )

Yeah, call me lazy if you'd like. But I work full time, go to school, and am now a fulltime stepmom...I deserve a little lounging, don't I?! I'd like to watch some lame Lifetime, actually. I gotta say....I try to act like I don't like it, but Lifetime Movie Network can suck me in like no other. One minute I'm folding laundry with a "lame" lifetime movie on in the background and the next thing I know it's 5 hours later and I'm three movies in just waiting for the crazy husband, sister, stalker (they're all the same) to do his/her thang!! Just thought of something....there should totally be a Lifetime movie about an awesome family that consists of a dad, stepmom, kid(s) and a crazy biomom....I mean seriously, the stuff we deal with is nothing if not PURE Lifetime fodder!

Ok ladies, I know this was a super chipper post...no, I'm not bi-polar, I swear : ) Just trying to get back to my usual self and not dwell so much on "the crazy"!! If I don't blog tomorrow, I hope you all enjoy your weekend!!!